The other night Mister and I went to Panda Express. I hate the taste of fortune cookies, but I absolutely can not leave the table without seeing what my fortune says!
I opened up one of the two sitting on the table and it read:
“You have a reputation for being straight-forward and honest.”
I laughed and told Mister I got HIS fortune.
You see, Mister is the most honest person I know. He is a straight-shooter, and doesn’t beat around the bush about anything. He doesn’t see any point in lying, because you’re simply cheating the other person out of a truth. Whether the truth is hurtful or not, you *must* be honest. However, you *must not* be hurtful with your honesty. Those are two very different things, and I have seen him struggle with trying to be as kind as possible to someone while keeping his integrity in tact and remaining true to himself and that other person. It is incredibly unfair to people to let them believe something that isn’t true. Not something I had considered before meeting him, since I always told people what I thought they wanted to hear.
Strangely, his straight-forwardness is something that has taken some getting used to. In hindsight, I was not raised in an environment where straight-forwardness was accepted, if you weren’t the parent. Directness was not valued, if it wasn’t beneficial to the other person. There could never really be an open and honest conversation about anything that wasn’t mutually agreed upon. As far as I was concerned, it just saved a lot of grief just to tell people what would please them and not cause any conflict, rather than be direct with my true thoughts or feelings.
When Mister cracked open his cookie he read aloud:
“When in doubt, let your instincts guide you.”
Yes, he definitely had MY fortune.
I have always put what other people think and feel before my own thoughts and feelings. Therefore, most of my decisions and/or actions have typically been based on other people. Whenever I’ve doubted myself, I’ve always looked for validation from others. Am I thinking right? Am I doing right? Should I do something else? A big reason that I started blogging is to try to grow as an independent individual with the ability to think and speak for myself without worrying what others think. I have been doing so much better at that, with Mister encouraging me to follow what I think or feel. He knows I am a validation seeker, and when I try to get that from him, he gently guides me back to ME. He reminds me that I am a smart, thinking, responsible adult, and I do not need his or anyone else’s approval for what I feel and think; that I must let my “instincts guide me”.
Fortune cookies. Sometimes they’re silly, and you can add “between the sheets” or “under the table” to make them funny. And sometimes, well sometimes, they’re just extremely thought-provoking.
Growing in my Dash,