Making the most of my "Dash"

Posts tagged ‘Honesty’

Hey! That’s MY Fortune!

Mister's Fortune (that I opened!)

The other night Mister and I went to Panda Express.  I hate the taste of fortune cookies, but I absolutely can not leave the table without seeing what my fortune says!

I opened up one of the two sitting on the table and it read:

“You have a reputation for being straight-forward and honest.”

I laughed and told Mister I got HIS fortune.

You see, Mister is the most honest person I know.  He is a straight-shooter, and doesn’t beat around the bush about anything.  He doesn’t see any  point in lying, because you’re simply cheating the other person out of a truth.  Whether the truth is hurtful or not, you *must* be honest.  However, you *must not* be hurtful with your honesty.  Those are two very different things, and I have seen him struggle with trying to be as kind as possible to someone while keeping his integrity in tact and remaining true to himself and that other person.  It is incredibly unfair to people to let them believe something that isn’t true.  Not something I had considered before meeting him, since I always told people what I thought they wanted to hear.

Strangely, his straight-forwardness is something that has taken some getting used to.  In hindsight, I was not raised in an environment where straight-forwardness was accepted, if you weren’t the parent.  Directness was not valued, if it wasn’t beneficial to the other person.  There could never really be an open and honest conversation about anything that wasn’t mutually agreed upon.  As far as I was concerned, it just saved a lot of grief just to tell people what would please them and not cause any conflict, rather than be direct with my true thoughts or feelings.

My Fortune (that Mister opened!)

When Mister cracked open his cookie he read aloud:

“When in doubt, let your instincts guide you.”

Yes, he definitely had MY fortune.

I have always put what other people think and feel before my own thoughts and feelings.  Therefore, most of my decisions and/or actions have typically been based on other people.  Whenever I’ve doubted myself, I’ve always looked for validation from others.  Am I thinking right? Am I doing right?  Should I do something else?  A big reason that I started blogging is to try to grow as an independent individual with the ability to think and speak for myself without worrying what others think.  I have been doing so much better at that, with Mister encouraging me to follow what I think or feel.  He knows I am a validation seeker, and when I try to get that from him, he gently guides me back to ME.  He reminds me that I am a smart, thinking, responsible adult, and I do not need his or anyone else’s approval for what I feel and think; that I must let my “instincts guide me”.

Fortune cookies.  Sometimes they’re silly, and you can add “between the sheets” or “under the table” to make them funny.  And sometimes, well sometimes, they’re just extremely thought-provoking.

Growing in my Dash,


“…the part about me!”

Brad at the Oregon Coast July 2011

When I first started this blog in October of last year, Brad happily said, “I can’t wait until you get to the part about me!”

At the time I just groaned inside, because I knew I had lots of posts to do before I could get to ‘the part about him’.  Now that I’ve scrapped the Chronological Order issue, he’s my third post!

Brad is the absolute love of my life. There are so many amazing things about him,  and I could go on and on about him (but I will try to restrain myself in this particular post).  When I started to get to know Brad I ran across a quote that I felt suited him.

“The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.” – Ann Landers

One of the first things I noticed about Brad was how helpful he was to so many people… just because he wanted to be helpful and knew it was the right thing to do.  Whether the person was deserving of the time he spent helping them or not.  During a very difficult time in my life, I remember asking him why he was taking the time to be so helpful to me.  His reply (while shaking his head) was, “WHY?! Because it’s the right thing to do!”

Mister & Missy

I’ve never met anyone with as much integrity as him.  Honesty is incredibly important to him.  Lying is completely foreign to him.  Even those “innocent” little white lies.  When I first saw the Abe Lincoln GEICO commercial, I burst out laughing because… THAT. IS. BRAD.  He is the most genuine, authentic person I have ever met.  It can be said of Brad that you’ll never wonder where you stand with him, because he is such a straightforward person.  Having said that, he does not have a mean bone in his body and would never harm anyone with his straightforwardness.  He can’t stand people who are harmful or abusive towards others, nor will he tolerate people who are manipulative.

God has given me an incredible blessing by bringing Brad into my life.  Every morning I hear, “Good morning, beautimas!”  I’ve finally started believing that I am beautiful because he makes me feel that way.   He tells me that his job in life is to bring me happiness.  And he does.  Since I also feel that my job is to bring him happiness, I don’t feel too selfish about him feeling that’s his “job”.  When I was at a very low point in my life he helped me to see that I had value, I was loveable, and I was a strong person.  He was also instrumental in helping me to realize that I should not give up on God when I was ready to walk away from Him.  I love Brad very much, and I know without a doubt that he loves me too.  I couldn’t ask for a more perfect husband.

I love you, Mister.  You make my “dash” wonderful.


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