Making the most of my "Dash"

Posts tagged ‘Health’

Testy? ME? Noooooo…

Various pills

Candy! Oh, wait...

I wrote a post not long ago about how I’ve been trying, REALLY trying, to lose weight.  I mentioned that my doctor and I agreed to use a metabolism booster since my body seemed “stuck” (to put it in the simplest terms possible).  It’s been two weeks, and I know it’s doing it’s job.  And THEN some.

Let’s just say these pills are better off being called “Testy Pills”.  I think Mister has a very different name for them.  Taking them really contradicts my normally good-natured disposition. I seem to be constantly annoyed be every little thing nowadays.  Apparently I’m also snapping at Mister.  A lot.  I didn’t realize it until the other day when I mentioned to him, “I think this pill makes me feel irritable.” His immediate response was a very loud, “You THINK?!”  Apparently “testy” really is not the right word. But, he did follow that up with letting me know he understands this is not how I am, this is not how I want to behave, and we both know why I’m even taking them.

I’ve been annoyed at the ADD-like effect this gives me.  I have a much greater empathy for those diagnosed with it.  I get really frustrated that I want to get something done, but then I can’t finish it because I’m already focusing on doing something else.  Even sitting here typing this is annoying for me because I want to get this blog post done, but I can’t seem to focus on it properly. I’ve rewritten it twice now.  *sigh* I’ve actually been meaning to write this one for over a week, but it has just seemed like it would take too much time to sit down and type it.

I am more impatient than ever now.  While we were shopping today I wanted to ram the cart into some lady who cut me off.  I also wanted to smack the elderly women in the store taking up the entire aisle while looking at a something on the shelf.  Normally people who do that still annoy me, but I’ll patiently wait and then smile as I pass them.  But not today. Today, I had this incredible urge to grab the nearest item and chuck it at her while yelling at her “MOVE IT, LADY!!” Actually, I didn’t use those nice words inside my head.  I had better ones for her.  Obviously, I restrained myself from doing any of that since I’m sitting here typing this and Mister is not bailing me out of jail.

I’m doing fairly well at keeping the irritability under control.  The fact that Mister has come back into the house, interrupted me twice while I’ve been focused on this, and each time I was able to stop and smile at him, is a testament to how well I’m keeping it under control.  I am happy that I only have another two weeks of this.  I’m sure Mister is a lot more anxious for that time to pass and is counting down the days.  I have definitely seen some progress with the weight-loss, so at least it is working.  I do have to admit to being very concerned about how I’ll feel after I stop taking these.  I stopped drinking coffee, for obvious reasons, but I may end up having “four cup” coffee mornings after this is over.  Or maybe I’ll start sleeping. A lot. Either way, Mister is going to want his nice Missy back, and not this psychotic, almost homicidal killer of rude-women-shopping-in-grocery-stores.

(Make that four interruptions now, but who’s counting)

Keeping the dash interesting (from my perspective anyway)

Christine

P.S. I would be very remiss if I did not make note of the fact that directly after I finished writing this and went with Mister to pick up the kids we had what we’ll call a discussion.  Mister asked a question and I answered.  Mister then asked if I was feeling “testy”.  Now, maybe I’m the *only* woman in the world who gets her back up at that, but that comment was rather, er…. provocative.  I really wasn’t being testy with my response, I was nowhere near that, but Mister repeated that I was not “being myself”.  And after THAT, I went from perceived testiness to actual testiness.

I only write this to say that [while I did not acknowledge this in our resulting discussion] I realized later he probably was right.  (Do you know how hard that is for me to say? VERY hard.) I really didn’t mean to be harsh, sharp, testy or whatever with him.  But, I’m thinking that this medicine is not bringing out my bestest, brightest, and shiniest qualities.  I think he may have intimated that, but I’m sure it got lost between thoughts of “I am NOT being testy” and “not being myself? REALLY?!” So, while I oh-so-nicely (ha!) insisted that I was completely fine as he was insisting that I wasn’t, I might have overlooked the fact that the medicine has indeed made me testy AND sensitive.  I have to do a mea culpa here and say he is the one more likely to be correct given the current circumstances.  And once again, I must put out in the internet world (where it lasts forever) that he was right and I was wrong.  Ugh.

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“You need to eat more.” Wha?!?!

Just me

I’m a little “buzzy” this morning, and so I’m going to try to stay focused here, but NO promises!!

I’ve pretty much struggled with my weight my whole life.   I was at my worst in December of 2008 at a whopping 188 pounds (GULP!).  Enter separation/divorce/family problems and a year later I had lost 42 pounds simply due to stress.  I was actually excited about the weight loss (definitely not the stress!) because I was only 11 pounds away from my goal weight of 135!  I thought to myself…

“I am NEVER gaining that weight back again!”

Famous last words, right?!

Well, I started working in January of 2010, and I kept eating junk food and snacking constantly.  I never really exercised and so I slowly started gaining weight over the next year.

By March I had gained back about 7 pounds and thought, ok, it’s time to lose this and get serious about getting down to 135.  So, I cut out the junk food, and started seriously exercising.  And I KEPT gaining weight.  I got up to 158 and was starting to freak out a bit.  We went on vacation for the summer, and we didn’t eat so very well.  Not horrible like I was the year before, but not really focused on healthy eating.  We also hardly got any exercise in.  I ended up gaining another 10 pounds.  Ugh.

So when we returned from vacation in August I got really serious about losing weight.  We’ve been walking/running between 10 – 15 miles a week, as well as doing some core exercises at home.  I cut out lots of the junk, and hardly ever snack at all.  Over the last two and a half months I’ve lost a total of 3 pounds.  THREE POUNDS.  Plus, I started getting some odd symptoms that I thought might mean I was peri-menopausal. (If you’re a guy and you just read that last sentence, I am SO sorry!)  I called the doctor and had her do some blood work that we figured I didn’t need at my last appointment.  Besides the weight gain, I also mentioned that I was getting hot flashes (at the weirdest times too), and told them that Brad kindly mentioned that I was a “bit” moody.  Enter yesterday’s doctor appointment…

Yesterday morning I was having a bit of difficulty with the kids coming back from their visit and the usual readjusting.  Certain things that are said to the kids that put pressure on them bother me, but there’s nothing I can do about that other than be the best parent I can be and encourage my kids to grow up and be the people THEY want to be.  On top of dealing with that, I had to go see the doctor and was fairly nervous.  She walks in and says my blood work is 100% completely normal!  After discussing the issues I had with her, and how hard I’ve been trying to lose weight, she says…

“I think your problem is that you’re not eating enough.  You need to eat MORE.”

Words sent directly from heaven above.  I love her.  I love food.  Seriously though, she thinks the problem is that I’ve plateaued (clearly!) and I am not giving myself enough protein.  After MUCH discussion we decided on giving my body a jump-start by prescribing a medicine that is pretty much a metabolic stimulant for only 30 days.  I took it this morning.  All I can say is… BUZZYYYYYYYY.

Mister and I did our walk/run this morning.  I felt so good that we actually went around the block again!  Usually by the time we get home I’m ready to crawl up the driveway and drag myself over to the porch chair and rest.  This time it took all I could do to remain seated in the chair.  I’ve also been talking a hundred miles an hour.  Poor Mister is tolerating the chattiness, but he has called me Chatty Cathy at least twice today.  We both agreed (and the doctor recommended this too), that since I’m SO wired (you should see my hands as I try to type this…zoom!) that tomorrow will be a half a pill.  She also said I could even go every other day, if necessary.

I’m pretty unfocused today, only because I’m jumping from one thing to the next.  I even told Mister that we could put his HAM antenna up today (you know, from where we took the monstrous satellite dish down) and that I would even HELP him.  Yes, tomorrow will only be a half a pill.

I forgot to make my egg this morning (more protein!), so I’m off to do that shortly.  I’m going to be very careful with this, and monitor how I feel and what happens with my body.  I’ve already recognized that a whole pill is too much.  The doctor said a lot of what I thought was peri-menopausal stuff really is just related to the weight gain.  She was very proud of me for living a healthier life-style, and I’m pretty proud of that myself.  I’ve always been a junk-food muncher, and that’s just not something I want in my life anymore.  Plus, 40 is right around the corner and I know it’ll be harder to get it off then.

Ok, off to get rid of some energy! We’ve got a HAM thingy to set up! (Mister won’t like that I called it a thingy either… o_O)

Trying to make my dash better by getting rid of some extra me!

Christine

P.S.  I know some of you may want to tell me what a bad thing it is for me to take this.  Please don’t.  I’ve only given you a very brief description about what my doctor and I discussed at length, will all of the concerns that come with it.  If you wanted to say something about it, just know that I know it’s because you care! I promise to take good care of me! 😉

A Confession…

My new Regimen

I wrote this post about all the healthier habits I’ve started because of Brad.  Well, there’s one habit he has no influence on, and I’ve badly neglected…

Taking care of my face.  I have never had a good nighttime routine, and I just don’t take the time to wash my face every night.  I know… EWWWWW.  I had [what I thought] was a good excuse in not *having* to do that every night… I use Bare Escentuals [mineral] make-up.  I know, I know… it’s not a good excuse.  But it worked for me…sorta.  I must admit, I am L.A.Z.Y. when bedtime rolls around.  I’m tired, and I just want to get into my cozy bed.  Don’t get me wrong, I’ll think about washing my face and that I should put a moisturizer on while I’m brushing my teeth.  By the time I’m done with that, my bed is screaming my name.  And I am done for the day.

Even worse… I use regular soap on my face when I wash it in the morning.  YES, I know that’s bad.  I’ve read it all over the place.  I just figured my skin looks fine, I’m young, and it doesn’t really matter.  I also used to stay out of the sun a lot.  I wasn’t really a “get a tan” kind of person.  Until I started noticing the little wrinkles around my eyes.  I live in Arizona now, so avoiding the sun is near impossible.  I’ve never been as tan as I am right now…and I didn’t even do it on purpose!  The best I’ve been doing for my face is soap, maybe some SPF15 moisturizer (occasionally), and my BE SPF mineral make-up.

My other excuse for not taking care of my skin is… It’s SO expensive! Good grief!   I’ve even gone to Walmart to get a “cheap” skin care set, and a month’s supply of decent skin-care products there (to repair, prevent damage/wrinkles, and maintain) costs a small fortune!  At WALMART.  Geez!  I’ve never been able to justify spending money on this, because it just didn’t seem important [yet!] and, there were more important things needed by others in the family.  However, I know it’s important to take care of myself, and since I’ve been improving in other areas I want to improve in this one too.

So…I found a skin-care set that I like, doesn’t cost a lot of money, and I’m gonna give it a go.  I took a close-up “Before” picture of my face (WARNING… It’s below and I don’t have a lick of make-up on…it’s scary!  Continue at your own risk!).  This is supposed to be a great product that I saw a lot of favorable reviews for.  I’m determined to make a new habit to follow through with this regimen morning and night… NO EXCEPTIONS.  I’ll get back to you in 30 days with an “After” picture and let you know how well I stuck to the new regimen.  (I already broke my new rule of not weighing on the scale, and barely 24 hours had passed!).  I’m determined to be healthy, and take care of myself.  Even with this!!

P.S. Brad, this is your OFFICIAL notice that I want you to remind me of my new habit, if I decide to be lazy and not do it.  I am also stating, in writing, that I will NOT give you crap about it!! (…and I will do everything in my power not to roll my eyes should you remind me because I’m being a lazy butt.)

Trying to live my dash in a better way…

Christine

Scary picture below…

The BEFORE picture...

I hate exercising… Sorta

reading

Image by rachel sian via Flickr

When I was growing up if there were a choice between being outdoors or indoors, I always chose the latter.

Usually with a book.

My childhood bestie, Chyllis, would attest to this.  In retrospect, I’m sure she  felt like she had to drag me out of the house to go play.  It’s still the same way for me.

I’ve been trying hard to have a better, healthier life-style.  I was talking to Brad today and telling him how much I hate exercising…sorta.  The ironic part is that today I did my indoor exercises, and it still didn’t feel like “enough”.  I ended up on the treadmill and did a mile.  I feel so conflicted about this, because on one hand I can’t stand having to exercise, and on the other hand I know I need to do it… and sometimes add even more.

My 15+ year old worn-out tennies

When I started doing a daily activity, we started out walking a mile up the hill, and then walking back down.  Gradually I added some jogging down the hill in there.  Then we decided to change things up a bit and stay closer to home.   We ended up with a 3.3 mile route around our house.  We start out walking up a hill, and then jog all the way to the bottom.  We walk up it again, and jog back down again. I really hate the jogging part.

The only reason I doing any jogging at all is because of Brad.  I know I hold him back from his normal run, and I feel badly about that.  That man is a machine, and would leave me in the dust (huffing and puffing!) if he really got to do a run that is more natural for his gait.  He easily runs 5 miles in about 50 – 55 minutes.  I also can’t stand the thought that I am so out of shape that he can outrun me with 26 years on me.  Ugh.

New (hopefully motivational!) tennies

Brad, with great patience, endures my attitude when we go out for our walk/run(jog).  I am really pissy.  I’ll say it outright.  I try not to be, but some days it gets the better of me.  I don’t want to go out and run down the stupid hill.  As I trudge up the hill I have this annoying discussion in my head about just wanting to get this whole thing over with… and I know the “yucky” part (the jog down the hill) is coming up. I also know that the faster I get through it, the quicker I get to go about doing something else in the day.   Sometimes I can keep my irritation under control, and Brad and I will have a nice chat as we walk.  Other times, I can’t.  And he usually states the obvious… “You’re GRUMPY today.  Just sayin’.”  By the way, it took ALL of  my self-control not to be a real smart-ass back to him after that comment yesterday.  However, I know my grumpiness has everything to do with me, and nothing to do with him.  So I held my tongue and let the poor man be.

The "Indoor Exercise Equipment"

I also am irritated with myself in that my legs burn walking up the hill, and it doesn’t affect Brad at all.  By the time we get to the top and have to go downhill, I’d just like to rest.  However, I think to myself that since I did the entire route the day before, and I can do it again.  My legs pretty much always burn and ache nowadays.  I think *hope* that will go away after a while.  The 3.3 miles is really nothing for Brad.  Last week we ran 5 days and I ended up with 16.5 miles for the week.   I like knowing that I accomplished that at the end of the week, but getting through it was a whole different thing.  (Brad actually ran 7 days last week. 5 miles 0n Sunday as well as the following Saturday… so he got 26.5 miles in. Good grief!) This week I did 9.9 miles.  I skipped Wednesday (this post will explain why!), and today we decided to exercise at home due to the heat and impending humidity.  I usually do CORE training. It works for me, it’s challenging, and I actually enjoy it!

I don’t like that I feel so tired all the time after our route.  We’re trying different things to see what will help with that.  We were just having some yogurt and grapes for lunch, but realized we probably need some protein to get us through the rest of the day.  We added a snack of celery and peanut butter along with some cucumber slices before lunch, and then either just a yogurt or some lunch-meat and cheese for lunch. Today seemed better for me, having the snack, but I still got fairly tired this afternoon.  I think part of the tiredness comes from the heat.  By the time we’re done with our route, it really is warm out.  Any of you have some suggestions… I’d love to hear them! Leave a comment below for me..

I hate the exercise, but I don’t want to be a fat 40, 50, 60, 70-something.  I know I need to cowboy up.  I think right now during the lose-weight phase I will continue to do the dreaded walk/run.  When I get to my goal and need to maintain my weight, I’ll probably change that to just a walk.  I like walking so much better, and really enjoy myself.  In all of the hated exercising though, the one thing I love is that Brad is there doing it with me… He is my encouragement, and he even tolerates the grumpy exercising lady.

Such a bad influence…

Since I’ve met Brad I have been forced encouraged to become a healthier person.   The other day I told him that because of him I have grudgingly developed better habits.

Fish oil caps

Image by Stephen Cummings via Flickr

  • I take my vitamins every morning.  And fish oil. YUCK.  I hate taking them because they make me feel sick, but how do you argue against, “I take my vitamins because I love you and want to live a long time for you… Why don’t you want to take care of yourself for me?!”  Gah!!! …So I take my vitamins.
  • I eat breakfast every morning.  I can’t tell you how many times Brad nagged me suggested to me how important breakfast was.  I already knew that, but was just lazy and not a fan of breakfasts.  Now I dutifully eat my small bowl of healthy adult-type cereal.  And I no longer huff and puff and roll my eyes at him about it.
  • I eat a lot less red meat than I used to.  We mainly eat a lot of chicken now, which I really enjoy.  But I do get a burger now and then.  With bacon and cheese.  Sometimes it’s smothered in BBQ sauce and little onion crunchies.  (My stomach is starting to growl!) But, we went on burger overload during the summer, and I have suffered the consequences with 5 vacation pounds that are stubbornly refusing to leave.
    Some green grapes in a small, clear bowl.

    Image via Wikipedia

  • I brush my teeth every single night.  Yes, I have to admit there were more than a few nights that I fell into bed and was too lazy to want to get back up and brush my teeth.
  • We eat smaller and healthier lunches.  Usually we  just have a yogurt with granola and grapes, or some lunch meat and cheese (sans bread) and grapes.  We love our grapes!!
  • We exercise at least 3 times a week, but lately it’s more like 4 -5 times.  That’s a whole other post… Ugh.
  • The words “nevermind” and “it’s not important” are NOT allowed.  We always talk out our issues and we won’t end the day until they’ve been dealt with.  We agree that keeping stuff inside builds up resentment, and people who love each other will communicate rather than holding things inside and storing up “stuff” against the other person. Green-stamping and using absolutes are not acceptable either, which is a tough one for me as I tend to use “you always” or “you never” without thinking. The really difficult thing for me is the time it takes me to work things out in my mind.  I end up being pissed for a while as I’m not able to immediately sit and rationally talk things out until I get to a calm and logical place.  Brad didn’t understand that about me at first, but now he knows to just let me be for a while and when I’ve got my thoughts in place I’ll let him know I’m ready to “discuss” the issue.  He is very patient and understanding man, and he makes communication easier for me.

I was pretty resistant to some of most of all of these little changes, but since Brad works so hard to make sure he is a  healthy person for me, it’s only right to take care of myself for him, for the kids, and most importantly, for myself.  He helps me make the most of my dash!

Live your dash well!

Christine

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