This is going to sound down-right bizarre to some of you, but I can honestly say that over the past year or so I have wished I could look older. Yes, you read that right, OLDER. As in, I wish I had some gray hairs or I wish I had more wrinkles. Yes, seriously. Many people have assumed that I am much younger than I really am. Even by about 10 years. I used to be very pleased by that, because I figured it would serve me [read: my vanity] better when I got older. Interesting that now I want to be the opposite of too-young looking.
This is all for a really silly reason too: I wish I could fit in better with Mister. He’s going to probably going to roll his eyes at me when he reads that. Don’t misunderstand, we fit great, Mister and I. When I’m with him, I don’t see an age difference at all and neither does he. He’s my Mister, and I’m his Missy. He completes my sentences, and even speaks my thoughts before I utter them (sometimes to my great annoyance) and vice versa. It’s just that sometimes I know people are a bit “surprised” by us. I know we get ‘looks’ too. Those used to bother me much more than they do now. He’s fairly well oblivious to them, and I’ve started to be as well, but still… there’s something about “looking” like you belong where you are. Mister is REALLY going to huff at me about that last comment too.
I know, I know, what other people think doesn’t matter. However, when I walk into the Elks or the Eagles with him, I am more aware than usual of the looks. Clearly, I know they’re coming from judgmental older broads who really need to get a life (and usually that’s always where the looks always come from, no matter where we are). But still, I wish for strands of gray hair to mingle with the red. I even went so far as to ask my hair stylist if she could streak some in. Yes, I really did. And, no, she didn’t put them in.
However, I have noticed some more wrinkles lately. At first my vanity got the better of me and protested at the all of the wrinkles around my eyes that seemingly cropped up overnight. I mean, where the heck did they come from all at once?! I used to have a line or two, but now it looks like a massive flock of birds left their little feetsie-prints around my eyes! Then I noticed something else. I could hardly see my nickle-holders. That’s what Mister calls the two deep grooves that appear on my forehead when I frown. Yeah, you can see those bad boys above ^^. Nasty, aren’t they? I used to frown, a lot. The kids used to see that, a lot. Too much.
I realized today that I have traded my nickle-holders for some crows-feet. They’re not too deep, yet, but they will be soon enough. And you know what? I’m really GLAD about that. My vanity can hit the road, because I know why those wrinkles I wanted are finally there. It’s because I’m happy. Mister makes my life happy. I no longer have to carry the entire burden and stress that Life brings, and deal with it all by myself. I have a partner who has taken half the burden, and we deal with everything together. As a result, the kids no longer have an angry, frustrated and irritated mom. I laugh more now. I LIVE now.
I’ll take those crows feet over nickle-holders any day of the week! They’re mine and I know what every line means. And I love that.
Enjoying my starting-to-get-wrinkles Dash